Over the past few days, I have been meditating on this verse, "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him." (Job 13:15) This scripture is not new to me, but I think, for the first time, I understand it better in its context. I always understood this scripture to mean that Job would hope in God no matter what He brought his way. The context of this verse, however, is that Job is requesting an audience with God that he might argue his case before Him, "But I would speak to the Almighty, and I desire to argue with God." (Job 13:3) Job was saying that he was going to take his chances with God, "Why should I take my flesh in my teeth and put my life in my hands?" (Job 13:13) Job was angry with God. Job wanted to argue his case before Him. And Job knew that the outcome could very well be that God would strike him dead. Nonetheless, Job was willing to take his chances with God.
I'm not implying that Job's intentions were pure and that there was no sin in the thoughts of his heart. Job was convinced that he was right and God was wrong. What I do find interesting is that, even in his present state of mind, Job was driven to God. Some people, when they go through hard times, withdraw from God. It would have been very easy for Job to withdraw and sulk and wallow in self pity. But instead, he pursued God. Job's life was bound to God, for better or worse. His fate would be determined by God. And, deep down, in his heart of hearts, he knew that God was good and that God was right. Job knew that if there was anything good and right, it would be found in God. So he took his chances with God.
For sure, Job said some things that God would later hold him accountable for. Job's words were wrong, but the direction of his walk was right. This reminds me of the story of the demoniac that Jesus healed. The story says, "And when Jesus came out onto the land, He was met by a man from the city who was possessed with demons; and who had not put on any clothing for a long time, and was not living in a house, but in the tombs. Seeing Jesus, he cried out and fell before Him, and said in a loud voice, 'What business do we have with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg You, do not torment me.' " (Luke 8:27-28) This man ran to Jesus, but when he got there he could not speak, only the demons spoke. His words may have been from demons, but his choice of destinations (the feet of Jesus) was his.
I think there is something to be said for continuing to engage our Lord even if we are not sure of our words or motives. I think it better to find ourselves wrong while we are in the presence of the Lord rather than when we are far from Him. I think this applies, not only to the Lord, but to all our relationships. Even in a marriage, when disagreements arise, it is far better to engage each other, even if we are eventually found wrong, than to withdraw and never talk about what's bothering us. Let us engage the Lord and trust that he is Good. Though he slay me, yet I will hope in Him.