Love is Patient: Part 1

One of my favorite prayers is, “Lord give me patience and give it to me NOW!” We are not a people who like to wait. We have microwave ovenss, fast food, and broadband Internet access. We want what we want now and hate to have to wait. The proliferation of credit cards in our society is a testament to our lack of patients. We want our “stuff” without having to wait until we can pay for it. It has been said that, “Patience is a virtue,” which I think means that “virtually no one has it!”

We often think of patience as being a passive activity. We see patience as being willing to wait for what we want. Biblically, however, patience is not passive but active. Patience can be defined as,

“To be patient in bearing the offences and injuries of others, to be mild and slow in avenging, to be long-suffering, slow to anger, slow to punish.” Joseph Henry Thayer

Though we have been born into an eternal kingdom, we have not yet fully occupied that kingdom. We live in an “in between” time, a time between the way things used to be and the way things aught to be. We are not who we used to be but we are not full who God has destined us to be either. We live in a world that is still full of sins, offenses, and hurts. The character of patience is how we continue to actively live a godly life even when confronted with the offenses and injuries of others.

In our relationships, we are called to love each other by showing patience towards each other’s faults. To illustrate this, imagine that our relationships are like a garden. Our desire is that out relationships produce a bountiful harvest of beautiful, fragrant flowers and delicious produce of every kind. Unfortunately, many of our relationships are more like a garden that is overrun with weeds. Some of the weeds are the result of seeds sown before the relationship was started. Seeds of rejection and abuse sown in early childhood can reap a harvest of weeds later on. Other weeds are the result of bad seeds sown by one another within the relationship. Seeds of control, criticizing, and neglect can produce their own harvest of weeds. In the end, we have hoped for a beautiful garden but have ended up with weeds, weeds, weeds, nothing but weeds.

My wife and I have in the past done some marriage counseling. Many couples who made it to our living room had a marriage that was like that garden of weeds. The hope they shared on their wedding day of a marriage full of blessings was by now just a long lost dream. How does a couple change their marriage from a garden of weeds to a garden of blessings? The key is for both spouses to start sowing good seeds while pulling the weeds. With such a simple idea, many couples would leave, committed to the plan, only to return a week or two later and report that, “it didn’t work.” They tried to sow good seed and pull the bad weeds but their garden continued to bear more and more weeds. They were ready to give up in despair.

This is where patience comes in. Sometimes faith is not enough. God has given us His promises but faith is not always enough to receive those promises. Paul reminds us to, “not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” (Hebrews 6:12) Faith alone is not enough to receive what we wish from the Lord, we often need to mix patience with our faith. Sometimes we must be willing to persevere in doing right that we might eventually reap what we desire. We must be willing to sow good seeds and pull weeds until eventually the harvest of the good seeds overtakes the weeds. We may not immediately see the fruit of our labors, but eventually, if we persevere, we will. Paul reminds us to, “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” (Galatians 6:9)

Patience is the character of spirit that enables us to continue in doing right even when we do not see immediate benefits of our actions. Patience is not limited to marriages but can be applied to all our relationships. Whenever we are dealing with fallen human beings, there exists the opportunity to employ patience.

More to come… David Robison