Thursday, December 17, 2009

Newly Married (part 2) Dt: 24:5

"When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife whom he has taken." (Deuteronomy 24:5)
My first thought at reading this verse was "How?" How do I bring joy and happiness to my wife? How do I, as this verse can also be translated, cheer up or gladden my wife? Knowing what to do doesn't help much unless you also know how to do it. As I was pondering this I read the following verse.
"Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full." (John 16:24)
Jesus desires to give us our needs, wants, and desires so that, not only would we have want we need and want but that in receiving them we might also have joy. Joy is the fruit of answered prayer. Sometimes, our lack of joy is just a lack of asking. James said, "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask." (James 4:1-2) If we would but ask God for the things we need and desire then we would not only receive the petitions of our hearts but we would also find new joy in the Lord.

The key to bringing joy to our wives (or anyone else for that matter) is learning to become the answer to their prayers. When we learn to recognize the desires of their heart and then find ways to supply those desires then we have found the key to bringing them joy. For some it might be the desire for someone to understand them, for others it might be the need to feel that they are important to someone else. Other might simply need someone to help them and lift them up when they are overwhelmed and overburdened by the demands of everyday life. What ever the need, to the degree to which we can supply the want, we can also bring them joy.

This is not to say that, as husbands, we should expect (or even attempt) to meet every need and desire of our wives hearts for some needs can only be met by the Lord. Some people, when the wed, have the expectation that the other person is going to meet all their needs, that all their desires are going to be met in their spouse, that their spouse is going to rescue them and save them from their present circumstances and that they will never want again. Some people, when they look for a partner, are really looking for a savior. However, a husband or wife can never replace the true savior. As individuals we must learn to go to the Lord for our needs and desires and not expect another human to meat what only the Lord can provide. However, that being said, there are times when God can use us to be the answers to the prayers of others. When we learn to tune into the needs and desires of others then we can find ways to allow God to use us to become the answer to their prayers and a source of great joy to them as well.

David Robison

, , , ,
Powered by ScribeFire.


  1. Gail Duffey5:46 PM

    Hey David,
    I think you've got some wisdom here. Most husbands would be surprised by how little it really takes to bring their wives joy. Asking is a good thing and so is listening, both to God and to your spouse. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is good to know there is at least one man who is actually meditating on how to please his wife. LOL!

  2. My ex looked for me to bring him happiness. When I failed him he looked other places. He in no way felt that I needed for him to try to make me happy and he was right I can’t seek joy in a person it is from within a God given joy. I was never able to explain that to him I hope that the mistress that he is marrying can measure up.

    I’ve learned a bit about marriage and what I want if I ever marry and the best thing that you can do in a marriage is to put God first.

  3. You are right. There is a difference between wanting to give to make the other happy and expecting to receive to make yourself happy. Love gives, selfishness takes, and the only way we can be free to give is to be content and secure in Jesus as our all-in-all. When Jesus is our sufficiency, then we will never lack anything to give to another, but when we look to man to meet our needs, we will always be wanting. Only can Jesus fill us and set us free to love.

    Thanks for reading and your comments, David